what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
