Im at strip club and am horny
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
