ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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