Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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