very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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