Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
