i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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