Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I stole a fireplace last night.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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