I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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