OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
