I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize