I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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