Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
