i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
