is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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