Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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