My hair reeks of homosexuality.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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