I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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