At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
