He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
