I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
