sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
