I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
