Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
