oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
