addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize