Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
