i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
