thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize