Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
