oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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