OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
