its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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