I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
