The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
