So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
