It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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