Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize