Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
