I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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