you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
