yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
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