He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
