that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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