Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
