Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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