My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
