Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
