just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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