he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
