i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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