I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Randomize
