he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
