Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
