It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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