it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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