last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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