There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
