she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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