Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
