It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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