i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I could fuck to npr.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
