i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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