i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
