I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
