are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
