No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
