My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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